A number of people have contacted us recently about traveling to Cambodia, so here are a few useful tips. Welcome to what the Ministry of Tourism has started to brand as
Very appropriate, as a fellow volunteer pointed out: "I wonder where all the aid money went? I wonder where all the trees went? I wonder where all the Khmer Rouge went?" Or, for this particular version of the logo (there are quite a few variants): "I wonder where all the wildlife went?" I wonder if the setting sun was put there deliberately by the designer...Nevertheless, we wouldn't be here if we didn't think it was worthwhile, and tourism is an important element of Cambodia's road out of poverty. So stop whatever it is you're doing and bring your dollars.
What to bring
First and foremost, make sure you pack appropriate clothing. Remember to cut holes in it if you want to see the sights (and where you're going).
Accommodation
Be prepared for a unique and exceptional standard of luxury international accommodation. However, a room with a tree may cost extra.
Always try to abide by the rules of the house.
Dining
Be prepared to try the unusual. Service can sometimes be a bit variable
Health
Make sure you wear one of those really useful face masks at all times, because they'll keep you safe from everything you might encounter.
But don't worry, Cambodian traditional medicine (tnam borann) is second to none.
Sexual incompetent: is this someone who keeps on making mistakes? If so, I think I've worked with a few in the past. If only I'd known the term...
There may occasionally be one or two minor side effects from your medication, including mild hallucinations. Don't worry about them.
There may occasionally be one or two minor side effects from your medication, including mild hallucinations. Don't worry about them.
Language
Don't rely on the people you meet being able to speak or understand English, especially away from Phnom Penh. However, even if you learn Khmer, many Cambodians will not expect to be able to understand you and so won't. A recent attempt to order an iced coffee with milk in both Khmer (by quite a good speaker) and English, coupled with pointing to an identical drink that was sat in front of another member of the party, met with total failure. The word coffee (cafe) was repeated slowly and often and finally led to a brief glimmer of understanding, followed by even deeper confusion, when the waitress remembered there were almost limitless options in how it might be served (hot/cold, milk/no milk). Success was only finally achieved when charades skills were incorporated into the conversation by using fingers as horns whilst mooing, followed by shivering and going "Brrrr."
It should be pointed out that iced coffee with milk (cafe teuk dto koh teuk kork - literally, 'coffee water breast cow water hard') is perhaps the most widely ordered drink in Cambodia, but this is no guarantee of success if you happen to want one. The wise traveler therefore has two options: be persistent (although it'll probably be to no avail) or just give up and try somewhere else. Which will probably be to no avail either. Or else just bring everything you plan to eat or drink with you (see dining).
It should be pointed out that iced coffee with milk (cafe teuk dto koh teuk kork - literally, 'coffee water breast cow water hard') is perhaps the most widely ordered drink in Cambodia, but this is no guarantee of success if you happen to want one. The wise traveler therefore has two options: be persistent (although it'll probably be to no avail) or just give up and try somewhere else. Which will probably be to no avail either. Or else just bring everything you plan to eat or drink with you (see dining).
All you need to know about language in Cambodia is contained in a recent piece of advice on Cambodian television. Cambodian TV often shows films in English, so they naturally need sub-titling. In English. However, this isn't always as superfluous as might be thought. A recent broadcast of the classic Charlton Heston epic The Ten Commandments brought a whole new slant to one of the key tenets of Judaeo-Christian morality:
"Thou shalt not commode a pottery."
Perhaps something similar happens with Khmer sub-titling too, which might help explain why they don't expect to be able to understand you. Although, to be fair, Khmer has about 73 distinct sounds compared to the 42 or so that are used in English, so we're probably saying "my hovercraft is full of eels" on a fairly regular basis. Perry is personally unable to make, or indeed even hear, the (apparent) difference between the sounds that mean either "headphones" or "air conditioning." The intrepid traveller will recognise the importance this difference can make on a 7-hour Cambodian bus journey.
Another peculiarity of Khmer is that the last consonant of a word is not audibly pronounced (at least, not to barang ears). This can lead to interesting misunderstandings when Cambodians do the same in English. In a discourse that happened a few months ago between a Cambodian gentleman and two barang ladies about the statues of the half-naked dancing girls (apsaras) at Angkor Wat, the phrase "We repay with semen" was interjected into the conversation. Luckily one of the ladies had been here long enough to work out what was actually being described. "We repaired it with cement." was what he really said. At least, we hope so. Perhaps that's why the only one of the 1,860-odd statues who's smiling is the one who's the most difficult to get at.
"Thou shalt not commode a pottery."
Perhaps something similar happens with Khmer sub-titling too, which might help explain why they don't expect to be able to understand you. Although, to be fair, Khmer has about 73 distinct sounds compared to the 42 or so that are used in English, so we're probably saying "my hovercraft is full of eels" on a fairly regular basis. Perry is personally unable to make, or indeed even hear, the (apparent) difference between the sounds that mean either "headphones" or "air conditioning." The intrepid traveller will recognise the importance this difference can make on a 7-hour Cambodian bus journey.
Another peculiarity of Khmer is that the last consonant of a word is not audibly pronounced (at least, not to barang ears). This can lead to interesting misunderstandings when Cambodians do the same in English. In a discourse that happened a few months ago between a Cambodian gentleman and two barang ladies about the statues of the half-naked dancing girls (apsaras) at Angkor Wat, the phrase "We repay with semen" was interjected into the conversation. Luckily one of the ladies had been here long enough to work out what was actually being described. "We repaired it with cement." was what he really said. At least, we hope so. Perhaps that's why the only one of the 1,860-odd statues who's smiling is the one who's the most difficult to get at.
Many Cambodians have, however, picked up English vernacular quite well:
"It ******" = it's broken but we can repair it (probably, eventually).
"It ****" = it's broken and we don't know how to repair it.
Neither necessarily means that it is or isn't repairable; the difference between ******ed and ****ed is whether or not they think they know how to repair it. This may include such bizarrely advanced concepts as replacing the screw, plugging it back in, etc, but on the other hand it may involve attempting to build you a replacement warp drive out of the various bits and bobs that they've got lying around in an old ammunition case (the standard Cambodian toolbox).
The local branch of Quikfit. Or, as it's more likely to be, Quikphut, as the second hand elastoplast they've just used to mend your inner tube fails to make it past the first pothole.
"It work fine, no problem." This is one of the only two times Cambodians ever say no.
Use of the word 'no'
Ot panyaha: No problem. Only the word 'no' is of significance here; the phrase neither confirms nor denies the actual existence of a problem, only the denial that such a concept exists.
Ot mean: No have. One meaning of this is a polite way of saying "it ****" - as in ot mean the things necessary to repair it with. Customers of Sharon and Tracey in shops in the UK will recognise another use of ot mean: "I don't want to deal with you because you're interrupting my busy schedule of doing nothing by asking for things that I can't immediately see right in front of me." This, however, is a fairly rare use of the phrase, as Cambodians are usually desperate to sell you anything, even if it's something you have no interest in or desire for whatsoever. Watch out for this particular phenomenon whenever you come within 200 metres of a market. More typically, ot mean in this situation means "I haven't got a clue what you're asking for and I'm slightly afraid of you because you're big and foreign and I will never understand you so please go away." This use is more often encountered in the provinces than in Phnom Penh. Sometimes, though, ot mean can be used for all three meanings simultaneously, which makes it an important phrase for the intrepid traveler to understand.
Use of the word 'yes'
Never ask a moto driver if he knows the way to somewhere or where somewhere or something is. He will always answer "yes" because he does indeed know the way to where he's going to take you. This is tied to the interesting fact that Cambodians actually appear not to have a concept for getting or being lost. How could you be? You know exactly where you are: you're here. There's no such place as anywhere you don't know because you've never been there. Hence the answer to the question.
Similarly, an answer of "yes" to other questions can have one of two meanings:
"Yes.""Yes, I heard your question but I'm not going to answer 'no'. You will be able to tell that my answer is no by the way I will keep on saying 'yes' but with steadily reducing enthusiasm. If my answer was really yes, it would have been followed by ot panyaha (but see above)."
Of course, all of these meanings change once you get to know the Cambodian people better.
Laws and Customs
Do try to avoid any unnecessary run-ins with the law in Cambodia. The sign below says it all:
But is there more truth in this than the writer intended? Allegedly (by the US Ambassador among others), $500 million is 'mislaid' from government accounts each year. This is almost exactly the same amount as is given in international aid. The government, of course, denies this and continues its tireless efforts to finally pass an anti-corruption law. We say tireless, because how they find the stamina to keep going after 11 years of ceaseless toil in drafting this particular piece of legislation surely merits its own reward. Perhaps another Lexus. Yes, that would be nice. Although not, of course, without its drawbacks: as the Deputy Governer of Phnom Penh pointed out in a recent newspaper interview, the city's biggest problem is its lack of parking space. The traveller will be appalled to see the shoddy planning that led to so many slums being built with no thought whatsoever for off-road parking. The traveler should also be cautious of placing himself/herself in a location where a Lexus driver wishes to park (or drive). This is not, of course, because they are arrogant ********s as the less well-informed visitor might mistakenly think, but merely because the blacked-out windows make seeing out so terribly difficult.
Still on the subject of law and lawmakers, the traveller should keep about them a good supply of Cambodian bank notes (4,000 riel to the dollar, with no coins and the smallest note in common circulation being worth 100 riel or 2½ cents). This is because the Cambodian police are rigorous in enforcing any law they can think up on the spot but penance can normally be served by the application of somewhere in the region of $1. Handing it over in riels makes it look like more and is therefore more likely to satisfy the demands of justice. If you don't have riels, you can pay in dollars, which are legal tender in Cambodia, but starting out with dollar bills makes it apparent that you have money and so reduces your scope for bartering with the officer. Of course it's not a bribe, it's a fine - haven't you been reading? Try to keep clean notes if you can.
This particular 12½ cent note is actually a rather good one. The intrepid traveler should think twice about handling some of the better used (though God only knows for what) 100 riel notes he or she may receive in change (see health); these are best passed on to an ever-helpful policeman for safe keeping.
And Finally
Laws and Customs
Do try to avoid any unnecessary run-ins with the law in Cambodia. The sign below says it all:
But is there more truth in this than the writer intended? Allegedly (by the US Ambassador among others), $500 million is 'mislaid' from government accounts each year. This is almost exactly the same amount as is given in international aid. The government, of course, denies this and continues its tireless efforts to finally pass an anti-corruption law. We say tireless, because how they find the stamina to keep going after 11 years of ceaseless toil in drafting this particular piece of legislation surely merits its own reward. Perhaps another Lexus. Yes, that would be nice. Although not, of course, without its drawbacks: as the Deputy Governer of Phnom Penh pointed out in a recent newspaper interview, the city's biggest problem is its lack of parking space. The traveller will be appalled to see the shoddy planning that led to so many slums being built with no thought whatsoever for off-road parking. The traveler should also be cautious of placing himself/herself in a location where a Lexus driver wishes to park (or drive). This is not, of course, because they are arrogant ********s as the less well-informed visitor might mistakenly think, but merely because the blacked-out windows make seeing out so terribly difficult.
Still on the subject of law and lawmakers, the traveller should keep about them a good supply of Cambodian bank notes (4,000 riel to the dollar, with no coins and the smallest note in common circulation being worth 100 riel or 2½ cents). This is because the Cambodian police are rigorous in enforcing any law they can think up on the spot but penance can normally be served by the application of somewhere in the region of $1. Handing it over in riels makes it look like more and is therefore more likely to satisfy the demands of justice. If you don't have riels, you can pay in dollars, which are legal tender in Cambodia, but starting out with dollar bills makes it apparent that you have money and so reduces your scope for bartering with the officer. Of course it's not a bribe, it's a fine - haven't you been reading? Try to keep clean notes if you can.
This particular 12½ cent note is actually a rather good one. The intrepid traveler should think twice about handling some of the better used (though God only knows for what) 100 riel notes he or she may receive in change (see health); these are best passed on to an ever-helpful policeman for safe keeping.
And Finally
Cambodians, except for some small groups that might or might not have been alluded to above, are among the nicest, friendliest, kindest and often happiest people it will ever be your privilege to meet. They will normally greet you with smiles that you just can't help returning. And, despite our sometimes rather cynical view, there are many very fine, dedicated people both in and out of government who are devoting their lives to improving their country.
A visit to Cambodia cannot even begin to scratch the surface of this ancient and complex society, with its terribly scarred recent history. Cambodia has been described as an 'endless onion': beneath every layer there are many more. And some of them will make you mad as hell, and others will tear at your heart. You've been warned!
The Closing Credits
A visit to Cambodia cannot even begin to scratch the surface of this ancient and complex society, with its terribly scarred recent history. Cambodia has been described as an 'endless onion': beneath every layer there are many more. And some of them will make you mad as hell, and others will tear at your heart. You've been warned!
The Closing Credits
"Some of the events depicted in this blog, while based on actual situations, are of course fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental. Really, we're not referring to any one or any organisation at all. Especially in the bits about the law."
OK, back through the Looking Glass.
OK, back through the Looking Glass.
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